Hurricane and the Sun by Jim Hendrick
I can feel the pulse of my heart. Beating against my soul.
I can hear the breathing of those around me, those that I love and I keep them close.
I can see it coming.
The harsh silence of something yet to come.
I can see it now, crawling its way onto the horizons.
I can feel the first breath of the yet to be gale force winds.
I know who I am.
I stand firm.
I will prove them wrong.
I can feel the feelings coalesced into a sphere, ready to be released and set free.
As I stand in the whirling winds of the storm I am calm.
As I feel the feeling of pelting rain against my face I know that I’m alive.
As I see the eye of the storm I learn to appreciate the future.
As I feel the swell of the ocean I feel souls cry, yearning for something more.
Something that some people will never have.
It breaks the silence like shattering glass.
I am the storm.
No one can control me.
I go where I want to.
I am a force of nature.
I cannot be tamed.
But is this what I want?
Is this who I want to be?
Can I change?
Will I change?
As the storm dissipates I can see the first rays of the sun’s infant light.
I can feel its warmth permeating my body.
I can feel the change swirling in the depths of my soul.
I cannot stop it.
Is this what change feels like?
Is it for real?
Can I trust it?
Will it last?
As I feel the rays of hope finish its rising in the distant horizon I finally feel what I was meant to feel.
I can rest easy knowing that my havoc will never darken anyone’s skies. I will never beat myself against the shore in vain again, trying to accomplish something that I was never meant to do.
As I see the first threads of the newly merging enlightenment emanating from my newborn soul I hear everything for a split second.
I learn to appreciate all that I have been given. I learn not to take everything for granted.
I remember all the steps that I’ve taken from infancy to the calmed storm that I am now.
For once in my life I feel truly grateful to be what I am, who I am.
I no longer want to take my life. I want to live it.
It’s ending by the minute, but with each passing minute it’s always something new, something else to appreciate.
This feeling of new simplicity, the euphoria of being this newly made person I am will shine brighter than my angel’s wings, yet not shine brighter than anyone else’s.
As I feel the dissipating winds ruffle my hair I can feel the horizon stretching ever so higher in the distance.
I am the storm.